The Lumbersons' Family Album

Whenever I'm taking a break from writing, I like to secretly archive milestone events of a tiny dysfunctional wooden family that lives inside my bedroom. This is a collation of their cherished memories and misadventures.

  Mrs. Lumberson scolds Mr. Lumberson for coming home late without notifying her.

Mrs. Lumberson scolds Mr. Lumberson for coming home late without notifying her.

  Mr. and Mrs. Lumberson score the big time on the slots.

Mr. and Mrs. Lumberson score the big time on the slots.

  Whilst browsing for outdoor furniture at IKEA,   Mr. and Mrs. Lumberson weigh up their morality of buying a chair carved from their kin.

Whilst browsing for outdoor furniture at IKEA, Mr. and Mrs. Lumberson weigh up their morality of buying a chair carved from their kin.

  After plenty rehearsal and stretching, Mr. and Mrs. Lumberson waste no time on their honeymoon trying new positions in order to conceive a child and start a family.

After plenty rehearsal and stretching, Mr. and Mrs. Lumberson waste no time on their honeymoon trying new positions in order to conceive a child and start a family.

  Woody B. Lumberson watches the sunrise from Bannister Lookout - not as a twig, but as a fully grown stick.

Woody B. Lumberson watches the sunrise from Bannister Lookout - not as a twig, but as a fully grown stick.

  Woody B. Lumberson takes advantage of his temporary symptoms when bitten by a radioactive termite and becomes hooked on the sensation of flight.

Woody B. Lumberson takes advantage of his temporary symptoms when bitten by a radioactive termite and becomes hooked on the sensation of flight.

  After graduating from Pine High, Woody B. Lumberson believes he can take on the world and decides he wants to be a pilot.

After graduating from Pine High, Woody B. Lumberson believes he can take on the world and decides he wants to be a pilot.

  During Movember, Mr. Lumberson shows his support for men’s health by growing a moss-tache. He raised 17 splinters.

During Movember, Mr. Lumberson shows his support for men’s health by growing a moss-tache. He raised 17 splinters.

  With great stealth and vigilance, Mr. Lumberson stalks his prey whilst hunting the wild Maltese Shih Tzu beast.

With great stealth and vigilance, Mr. Lumberson stalks his prey whilst hunting the wild Maltese Shih Tzu beast.

  Feeling neglected by his parents in his time of need, Woody B. Lumberson returns to Bannister Lookout and contemplates suicide. This was the last night he was seen.

Feeling neglected by his parents in his time of need, Woody B. Lumberson returns to Bannister Lookout and contemplates suicide. This was the last night he was seen.

  Mr. and Mrs. Lumberson learn their lesson about walking down dark alleys alone after being held up at match-point.

Mr. and Mrs. Lumberson learn their lesson about walking down dark alleys alone after being held up at match-point.

  Mr. and Mrs. Lumberson resort to piggy bank robbery when their finances hit some hard times.

Mr. and Mrs. Lumberson resort to piggy bank robbery when their finances hit some hard times.

 Mr. and Mrs. Lumberson orchestrate an almost flawless plan to break out of jail.   

Mr. and Mrs. Lumberson orchestrate an almost flawless plan to break out of jail.

 

  Unable to cope with her inherent guilt-ridden anxieties, Mrs. Lumberson OD’s on Panadol capsules.

Unable to cope with her inherent guilt-ridden anxieties, Mrs. Lumberson OD’s on Panadol capsules.

  Mr. Lumberson finds his peace with God whilst tilling the fields on a warm summer’s day.

Mr. Lumberson finds his peace with God whilst tilling the fields on a warm summer’s day.

  Mr. Lumberson provides fresh perspective to Mrs. Lumberson by taking her to revisit their ancestree. 

Mr. Lumberson provides fresh perspective to Mrs. Lumberson by taking her to revisit their ancestree. 

  Mr. and Mrs. Lumberson look for a new recreational activity and become U.S Gladiators.

Mr. and Mrs. Lumberson look for a new recreational activity and become U.S Gladiators.

  When Mr. and Mrs. Lumberson go on a couples retreat to an exotic island, Mrs. Lumberson is captured by a tribe of cannibals.

When Mr. and Mrs. Lumberson go on a couples retreat to an exotic island, Mrs. Lumberson is captured by a tribe of cannibals.

  As part of his new year’s resolution, Mr. Lumberson commits to a fitness regime and goes for an early morning jog in order to become a healthy oak.

As part of his new year’s resolution, Mr. Lumberson commits to a fitness regime and goes for an early morning jog in order to become a healthy oak.

  Mr. Lumberson bravely rescues his wife from a house-fire after she passed out from smoke inhalation..

Mr. Lumberson bravely rescues his wife from a house-fire after she passed out from smoke inhalation..

  When times are bleak, Mr. and Mrs. Lumberson visit the mural of their most idolised hero and remind themselves to always ask “What would Pinnocio do?”

When times are bleak, Mr. and Mrs. Lumberson visit the mural of their most idolised hero and remind themselves to always ask “What would Pinnocio do?”

  Mr. Lumberson exercises some deeply repressed road rage when he gets stuck in peak hour traffic.

Mr. Lumberson exercises some deeply repressed road rage when he gets stuck in peak hour traffic.

  Considering the rocky start to his marriage, Mr. Lumberson spends hours staring at his own reflection in a pool of water, wondering that perhaps he was too young to get married.

Considering the rocky start to his marriage, Mr. Lumberson spends hours staring at his own reflection in a pool of water, wondering that perhaps he was too young to get married.

  Mrs. Lumberson is severely charred after she forgets to apply sunscreen when sun-baking under a giant magnifying glass. 

Mrs. Lumberson is severely charred after she forgets to apply sunscreen when sun-baking under a giant magnifying glass. 

  Mr. and Mrs. Lumberson take a breather from their school reunion and hang out on the quadrangle; their special place as high-school sweethearts where they were once truly in love… and utterly naive.

Mr. and Mrs. Lumberson take a breather from their school reunion and hang out on the quadrangle; their special place as high-school sweethearts where they were once truly in love… and utterly naive.

  Mrs. Lumberson rocks in the corner for days when her recurring nightmare returns to haunt her; the ever-watchful, unblinking googly eyes.

Mrs. Lumberson rocks in the corner for days when her recurring nightmare returns to haunt her; the ever-watchful, unblinking googly eyes.

  Mr. Lumberson remembers what it feels like to have a sense of self-worth again when he waters his award-winning apple.

Mr. Lumberson remembers what it feels like to have a sense of self-worth again when he waters his award-winning apple.

  As recommended by her therapist, Mrs. Lumberson redirects her maternal energies away from her missing son and instead, focuses on feeding lettuce to her pet tortoise, Tabitha.

As recommended by her therapist, Mrs. Lumberson redirects her maternal energies away from her missing son and instead, focuses on feeding lettuce to her pet tortoise, Tabitha.

  In anticipation for the 85th Oakademy awards, Mrs. Lumberson watches the wood-workshop scene from her favourite movie, Brave. Her other predictions for the ceremony included Hugh Lumberjackman and Life of Pine.

In anticipation for the 85th Oakademy awards, Mrs. Lumberson watches the wood-workshop scene from her favourite movie, Brave. Her other predictions for the ceremony included Hugh Lumberjackman and Life of Pine.

  Mrs. Lumberson seethes with passive aggression when she sees that Mr. Lumberson has neglected her to play with his childhood wrestling action figure.

Mrs. Lumberson seethes with passive aggression when she sees that Mr. Lumberson has neglected her to play with his childhood wrestling action figure.

  Mr. and Mrs. Lumberson face their worst darkest days yet. The day the ants attacked.

Mr. and Mrs. Lumberson face their worst darkest days yet. The day the ants attacked.

  Unable to afford a mechanic, Mr. Lumberson restores an old iPhone using his lucky Phillips-head screwdriver.

Unable to afford a mechanic, Mr. Lumberson restores an old iPhone using his lucky Phillips-head screwdriver.

  Luckily for Mr. and Mrs. Lumberson, they were carrying their matching umbrellas at the time of the very isolated showers.

Luckily for Mr. and Mrs. Lumberson, they were carrying their matching umbrellas at the time of the very isolated showers.

  Mr. and Mrs. Lumberson share a rare moment of romantic spontaneity by getting intimate in a hot tub.

Mr. and Mrs. Lumberson share a rare moment of romantic spontaneity by getting intimate in a hot tub.

  Mr. Lumberson congratulates President Obama on his re-election. He’s been a strong supporter of his campaign and especially liked his policy on tax-deductable varnish.

Mr. Lumberson congratulates President Obama on his re-election. He’s been a strong supporter of his campaign and especially liked his policy on tax-deductable varnish.

  Mr. and Mrs. Lumberson are enlisted in the army as modern warfare. Little did either of them know they would be fighting alongside their arch-rivals: The Plastics.

Mr. and Mrs. Lumberson are enlisted in the army as modern warfare. Little did either of them know they would be fighting alongside their arch-rivals: The Plastics.

  Mr. Lumberson gets the fright of his life when he sees his wife wandering around the house and pretending to be the ghost of their missing son.

Mr. Lumberson gets the fright of his life when he sees his wife wandering around the house and pretending to be the ghost of their missing son.

  The Lumbersons’ date night ends prematurely when Mrs. Lumberson falls ill from ingesting too much alcohol.

The Lumbersons’ date night ends prematurely when Mrs. Lumberson falls ill from ingesting too much alcohol.

  Mrs. Lumberson freezes herself in a cryogenic vault to awake in a future that may hold the answers to her son’s mysterious disappearance and maybe just maybe, the technology to bring him back.

Mrs. Lumberson freezes herself in a cryogenic vault to awake in a future that may hold the answers to her son’s mysterious disappearance and maybe just maybe, the technology to bring him back.

  Mr. Lumberson surprises his wife with a picnic in the Botanical Gardens (as a peace offering for his shameful behaviour). 

Mr. Lumberson surprises his wife with a picnic in the Botanical Gardens (as a peace offering for his shameful behaviour). 

  Mrs. Lumberson takes the day off to visit the Solarium and get a toasty golden crisp tan.

Mrs. Lumberson takes the day off to visit the Solarium and get a toasty golden crisp tan.

 After YouTubing how to tie a single windsor knot,  Mr. Lumberson anxiously waits for his job interview as a Carpenter.

After YouTubing how to tie a single windsor knot, Mr. Lumberson anxiously waits for his job interview as a Carpenter.

  During a spring cleaning, Mr. Lumberson unearths his old guitar and considers reuniting his teen garage band: Sawdust. 

During a spring cleaning, Mr. Lumberson unearths his old guitar and considers reuniting his teen garage band: Sawdust. 

  Mr. and Mrs. Lumberson take advantage of the extra legroom on their first  flight together in business class.

Mr. and Mrs. Lumberson take advantage of the extra legroom on their first  flight together in business class.

  Mrs. Lumberson reaps the rewards of her early morning training when she wins second prize in an amateur judo tournament.

Mrs. Lumberson reaps the rewards of her early morning training when she wins second prize in an amateur judo tournament.

  Camping in the woods to understand their role in this world, Mr. and Mrs. Lumberson kayak through the fog of Basíne Lake.

Camping in the woods to understand their role in this world, Mr. and Mrs. Lumberson kayak through the fog of Basíne Lake.

  Mrs. Lumberson tries to cheer up her amputee-husband by taking him to Basin Falls.

Mrs. Lumberson tries to cheer up her amputee-husband by taking him to Basin Falls.

  Tired of humouring Mrs. Lumberson’s increasingly numerous “sightings” of their long lost son, Mr. Lumberson checks his wife into a Mental Asylum.

Tired of humouring Mrs. Lumberson’s increasingly numerous “sightings” of their long lost son, Mr. Lumberson checks his wife into a Mental Asylum.

  Woody B. Lumberson explains his absence to his parents by recounting the story of how he fell down the Porcelain Water Well.

Woody B. Lumberson explains his absence to his parents by recounting the story of how he fell down the Porcelain Water Well.

  Unable to afford upsizing back to a three bedroom house after Woody B’s return, Mrs. Lumberson utilises her baking skills by building her family a Gingerbread Mansion. Under the proviso that she wouldn’t use it to lure and kidnap anymore children.

Unable to afford upsizing back to a three bedroom house after Woody B’s return, Mrs. Lumberson utilises her baking skills by building her family a Gingerbread Mansion. Under the proviso that she wouldn’t use it to lure and kidnap anymore children.

  During the Lumbersons’ day trip to the lost city of Petra, Mr. Lumberson is so inspired by the Treasury’s stone carving grandeur, that he decides to rekindle his passion for whittling.

During the Lumbersons’ day trip to the lost city of Petra, Mr. Lumberson is so inspired by the Treasury’s stone carving grandeur, that he decides to rekindle his passion for whittling.

  The Lumbersons organise a candlelit memorial to honour the memory of Baby Sweep, who was tragically forgotten in an overseas hotel room.

The Lumbersons organise a candlelit memorial to honour the memory of Baby Sweep, who was tragically forgotten in an overseas hotel room.

  Mrs. Lumberson asks her son to take some glamour shots of herself as a surprise anniversary gift for Mr. Lumberson. No questions asked.

Mrs. Lumberson asks her son to take some glamour shots of herself as a surprise anniversary gift for Mr. Lumberson. No questions asked.

  After recently losing both of his arms, Mr. Lumberson puts on a brave face and pretends to enjoy his own birthday.

After recently losing both of his arms, Mr. Lumberson puts on a brave face and pretends to enjoy his own birthday.

  Mr. Lumberson finally got to tick off indoor skydiving from his bucket list. One of the very few items that didn't require at least one arm to partake.

Mr. Lumberson finally got to tick off indoor skydiving from his bucket list. One of the very few items that didn't require at least one arm to partake.

  With Mr. Lumberson no longer legally (or physically) able to drive, Woody B. reluctantly lends his new sports car to his mother so she can practise for her upcoming driving test.

With Mr. Lumberson no longer legally (or physically) able to drive, Woody B. reluctantly lends his new sports car to his mother so she can practise for her upcoming driving test.

  The Lumbersons pick up the pieces at Ground Zero after their home-in-progress collapses due to a misalignment of a load-bearing brick.

The Lumbersons pick up the pieces at Ground Zero after their home-in-progress collapses due to a misalignment of a load-bearing brick.

 Mrs. Lumberson tries to sew an invisibility cloak as a feeble attempt to convince her family that she went to Hogwarts and can bring back her husband’s arms using magic. She was ridiculed the entire time.

Mrs. Lumberson tries to sew an invisibility cloak as a feeble attempt to convince her family that she went to Hogwarts and can bring back her husband’s arms using magic. She was ridiculed the entire time.

  Mr. Lumberson and Woody B. would never hear the end of it

Mr. Lumberson and Woody B. would never hear the end of it

 The Lumbersons unite as a family when they stumble upon a  West Side Story  type showdown with their arch-rivals: The Plastisteins.

The Lumbersons unite as a family when they stumble upon a West Side Story type showdown with their arch-rivals: The Plastisteins.

 Mrs. Lumberson accidentally adds the wrong ingredient to Woody B.'s favourite dinner, inadvertently creating a growing potion.

Mrs. Lumberson accidentally adds the wrong ingredient to Woody B.'s favourite dinner, inadvertently creating a growing potion.

 Mrs. Lumberson brandishes her steak knife when Mr. Lumberson forgets to come home for the romantic meal she prepared on their five year wedding anniversary.

Mrs. Lumberson brandishes her steak knife when Mr. Lumberson forgets to come home for the romantic meal she prepared on their five year wedding anniversary.

  Woody B. Lumberson prepares for the frosty Winter by building himself an igloo by the Samsung Ice Shelf.

Woody B. Lumberson prepares for the frosty Winter by building himself an igloo by the Samsung Ice Shelf.

 Without arms, Mr. Lumberson is unable to defend himself from a gang poison dart frogs from the wrong side of the river in the Amazonian rainforest. So he decides to play deadwood.

Without arms, Mr. Lumberson is unable to defend himself from a gang poison dart frogs from the wrong side of the river in the Amazonian rainforest. So he decides to play deadwood.

 For Christmas, Woody B. Lumberson finally receives the jumping castle that he was deprived of when growing up as the only twig that didn't have one.

For Christmas, Woody B. Lumberson finally receives the jumping castle that he was deprived of when growing up as the only twig that didn't have one.

  Mr. Lumberson visits the Oakwood Fitness Centre for Gentlemen to blast his bark-hard pecs.

Mr. Lumberson visits the Oakwood Fitness Centre for Gentlemen to blast his bark-hard pecs.

  Mr. Lumberson finds himself trapped inside frozen carbonate. Again.

Mr. Lumberson finds himself trapped inside frozen carbonate. Again.

  Mrs. Lumberson practises the art of fortune-telling to gain insight of whether she’ll ever be able to bare baby twigs of her own.

Mrs. Lumberson practises the art of fortune-telling to gain insight of whether she’ll ever be able to bare baby twigs of her own.

  Mrs. Lumberson can’t believe her luck when she wakes up with a pimple on the day of the her wedding.

Mrs. Lumberson can’t believe her luck when she wakes up with a pimple on the day of the her wedding.

 Mrs. Lumberson miraculously gives birth to her first and only child, Woody B.

Mrs. Lumberson miraculously gives birth to her first and only child, Woody B.

  Woody B. Lumberson feels the fire in his stumps when his morning hike slopes into a sudden incline.

Woody B. Lumberson feels the fire in his stumps when his morning hike slopes into a sudden incline.

 Woody B. Lumberson represents his high school for the discus event at the Junior Cedar Games.

Woody B. Lumberson represents his high school for the discus event at the Junior Cedar Games.

  Mr. Lumberson immediately suffers from buyer’s remorse after realising that he doesn’t even know how to   use   pogo shoes.

Mr. Lumberson immediately suffers from buyer’s remorse after realising that he doesn’t even know how to use pogo shoes.

  Woody B. Lumberson swiftly has his dreams dashed when the results from his maths exam don't meet the prerequisites for Aviation school.

Woody B. Lumberson swiftly has his dreams dashed when the results from his maths exam don't meet the prerequisites for Aviation school.

  Mr. and Mrs. Lumberson finally decide to cash in on their first-lesson-free fencing Scoopons.

Mr. and Mrs. Lumberson finally decide to cash in on their first-lesson-free fencing Scoopons.

  It’s date night and Mr. Lumberson takes Mrs. Lumberson to a light-hearted movie at IMAX cinemas. They would always regret not inviting Woody B.

It’s date night and Mr. Lumberson takes Mrs. Lumberson to a light-hearted movie at IMAX cinemas. They would always regret not inviting Woody B.

  On a gloomy afternoon, a year after Woody B. Lumberson goes M.I.A, Mr. and Mrs. Lumberson assume the worst and erect his tombstone in memoriam.

On a gloomy afternoon, a year after Woody B. Lumberson goes M.I.A, Mr. and Mrs. Lumberson assume the worst and erect his tombstone in memoriam.

  In a state of confusion and shaken faith, Mr. and Mrs. Lumberson worship a golden calf.

In a state of confusion and shaken faith, Mr. and Mrs. Lumberson worship a golden calf.

  Mr. and Mrs. Lumberson’s past comes back to haunt them when they are arrested for grand larceny.

Mr. and Mrs. Lumberson’s past comes back to haunt them when they are arrested for grand larceny.

  Feeling insecure, Mrs. Lumberson gauges her husband’s love by tying herself to the train tracks in order to see if Mr. Lumberson would rescue her from an oncoming freight train.

Feeling insecure, Mrs. Lumberson gauges her husband’s love by tying herself to the train tracks in order to see if Mr. Lumberson would rescue her from an oncoming freight train.

  Feeling responsible for his wife’s spiralling behaviour and having no-one else to turn to, Mr. Lumberson unsuccessfully attempts suicide.

Feeling responsible for his wife’s spiralling behaviour and having no-one else to turn to, Mr. Lumberson unsuccessfully attempts suicide.

  Mr. and Mrs. Lumberson begin to pick up the splinters of their life when they purchase their first home.

Mr. and Mrs. Lumberson begin to pick up the splinters of their life when they purchase their first home.

  Despite all of her issues, Mrs. Lumberson is still a shining example when it comes to exercising OH & S whilst lifting heavy boxes.

Despite all of her issues, Mrs. Lumberson is still a shining example when it comes to exercising OH & S whilst lifting heavy boxes.

  During their couples retreat, Mr. and Mrs. Lumberson put their names down for the optional activity, Tai Chi.

During their couples retreat, Mr. and Mrs. Lumberson put their names down for the optional activity, Tai Chi.

  After years of identity-crises and self-exploration, Mr. Lumberson finally finds his own voice.

After years of identity-crises and self-exploration, Mr. Lumberson finally finds his own voice.

  One night while taking an evening stroll, Mr. Lumberson is briefly abducted by a U.F.O. 

One night while taking an evening stroll, Mr. Lumberson is briefly abducted by a U.F.O. 

  With their house now nothing but ash, Mr. and Mrs. Lumberson are abruptly left homeless.

With their house now nothing but ash, Mr. and Mrs. Lumberson are abruptly left homeless.

  Mr. Lumberson goes bungee jumping in order to embrace his fear of heights (and of exercise apparatuses).

Mr. Lumberson goes bungee jumping in order to embrace his fear of heights (and of exercise apparatuses).

  Mrs. Lumberson recalls the fun, innocence and hope she once experienced as a child when she plays with the giant floor piano at FAO Schwartz toy store.

Mrs. Lumberson recalls the fun, innocence and hope she once experienced as a child when she plays with the giant floor piano at FAO Schwartz toy store.

  As part of her new year’s resolution, Mrs. Lumberson attends an aerobics session with her new mahogany-cla  ss gym membership.

As part of her new year’s resolution, Mrs. Lumberson attends an aerobics session with her new mahogany-class gym membership.

  During a spring cleaning, Mr. Lumberson unearths his old high school jump skis and is granted permission by wife to take them for one last spin before they’re added to their garage sale inventory.

During a spring cleaning, Mr. Lumberson unearths his old high school jump skis and is granted permission by wife to take them for one last spin before they’re added to their garage sale inventory.

  Under the influence of varnish, Mrs. Lumberson takes the family antique bicycle for a joyride and badly grazes her knee.

Under the influence of varnish, Mrs. Lumberson takes the family antique bicycle for a joyride and badly grazes her knee.

  Mr. and Mrs. Lumberson are distressed by King Kong in the dense jungles of Melbourne Zoo.

Mr. and Mrs. Lumberson are distressed by King Kong in the dense jungles of Melbourne Zoo.

  Mr. Lumberson wanders through the school corridors to visit his old locker, J10… but remembers it being a lot bigger back then.

Mr. Lumberson wanders through the school corridors to visit his old locker, J10… but remembers it being a lot bigger back then.

  Mr. and Mrs. Lumberson play private detective by reopening the Crime Scene Investigation of their missing son, Woody B.

Mr. and Mrs. Lumberson play private detective by reopening the Crime Scene Investigation of their missing son, Woody B.

  Mr. and Mrs. Lumberson take a moment from their holiday to find a Wi-Fi hotspot so they can Skype their benevolent creator and wish him a happy birthday.

Mr. and Mrs. Lumberson take a moment from their holiday to find a Wi-Fi hotspot so they can Skype their benevolent creator and wish him a happy birthday.

  Mr. and Mrs. Lumberson spend some perspective-changing time with the natives of North Caulfield Island.

Mr. and Mrs. Lumberson spend some perspective-changing time with the natives of North Caulfield Island.

  Mr. Lumberson seeks a much needed thrill by trying to jump the Great Persian Carpet Canyon.

Mr. Lumberson seeks a much needed thrill by trying to jump the Great Persian Carpet Canyon.

  After years fantasising about becoming his alter ego, Mr. Lumberson escapes reality and re-enacts the transitional scene from The Mask.

After years fantasising about becoming his alter ego, Mr. Lumberson escapes reality and re-enacts the transitional scene from The Mask.

  Mr. and Mrs. Lumberson take the afternoon off together to play a game of Bocce. They were both winners.

Mr. and Mrs. Lumberson take the afternoon off together to play a game of Bocce. They were both winners.

  Despite an outburst of passion that led them to the bedroom, Mr. Lumberson notices that his wife still isn’t ready to let go of their missing son, which by extension, triggers his insecurities and dampens his wood.

Despite an outburst of passion that led them to the bedroom, Mr. Lumberson notices that his wife still isn’t ready to let go of their missing son, which by extension, triggers his insecurities and dampens his wood.

  Following another marital argument, Mr. and Mrs. Lumberson give each other the silent treatment over a cold, waspy dinner.

Following another marital argument, Mr. and Mrs. Lumberson give each other the silent treatment over a cold, waspy dinner.

  In order to spice up things again in the bedroom, Mr. and Mrs. Lumbersons’ marriage counsellor suggests to them that they try Bondage games as a form of role-play. The safety word was “sponge-cake”.

In order to spice up things again in the bedroom, Mr. and Mrs. Lumbersons’ marriage counsellor suggests to them that they try Bondage games as a form of role-play. The safety word was “sponge-cake”.

 Mrs. Lumberson is excited to present her first major motion picture; a tribute to Woody Allen.

Mrs. Lumberson is excited to present her first major motion picture; a tribute to Woody Allen.

  The baboons eat the termites and the termites eat the wood… and so the Lumbersons  discover that they are all connected to the great circle of life.

The baboons eat the termites and the termites eat the wood… and so the Lumbersons  discover that they are all connected to the great circle of life.

  Tired of his wife’s trouble making shenanigans, Mr. Lumberson snaps and considers pulling the Lever of Doom.

Tired of his wife’s trouble making shenanigans, Mr. Lumberson snaps and considers pulling the Lever of Doom.

  When Mrs. Lumberson refuses to vacuum the carpets, Mr. Lumberson’s long suppressed rage regrettably outbursts in a display of domestic violence. 

When Mrs. Lumberson refuses to vacuum the carpets, Mr. Lumberson’s long suppressed rage regrettably outbursts in a display of domestic violence. 

  Mr. and Mrs. Lumberson survey the beach as volunteers for the North Bondi Surf Life Saving Club.

Mr. and Mrs. Lumberson survey the beach as volunteers for the North Bondi Surf Life Saving Club.

  Mr. and Mrs. Lumberson broadcast a message on national television, pleading for any information on the whereabouts of their missing son.

Mr. and Mrs. Lumberson broadcast a message on national television, pleading for any information on the whereabouts of their missing son.

  Mrs. Lumberson plays on the tire swing that her husband made for their beloved son (before his mysterious disappearance).

Mrs. Lumberson plays on the tire swing that her husband made for their beloved son (before his mysterious disappearance).

  Mrs. Lumberson wallows in despair after discovering that the blueberry pie she’d left to cool on the window sill had been stolen by hobos.

Mrs. Lumberson wallows in despair after discovering that the blueberry pie she’d left to cool on the window sill had been stolen by hobos.

  Mr. and Mrs. Lumberson budget their accomodation expenses by spending the night in a haunted house.

Mr. and Mrs. Lumberson budget their accomodation expenses by spending the night in a haunted house.

  Mr. Lumberson resorts to extreme survival techniques that he learnt from 127 Hours in order to free himself from a freak boxing-tape accident.

Mr. Lumberson resorts to extreme survival techniques that he learnt from 127 Hours in order to free himself from a freak boxing-tape accident.

  Upon his wife's suggestion, Mr. Lumberson takes up life-drawing as a hobby to prove to himself that the accident can't stop him from living.

Upon his wife's suggestion, Mr. Lumberson takes up life-drawing as a hobby to prove to himself that the accident can't stop him from living.

  At last, Mr. and Mrs. Lumberson embrace the return of their long lost son, Woody B. All grown up.

At last, Mr. and Mrs. Lumberson embrace the return of their long lost son, Woody B. All grown up.

  Woody B. Lumberson catches up on lost time by pretending to be his favourite childhood superhero, Splinter-Man!

Woody B. Lumberson catches up on lost time by pretending to be his favourite childhood superhero, Splinter-Man!

  The Lumbersons visit the Pyramids of Giza - their first family vacation since Woody B.’s disappearance.

The Lumbersons visit the Pyramids of Giza - their first family vacation since Woody B.’s disappearance.

  The Lumbersons play foster family for the day and adopt Baby Sweep into their home (and hearts). 

The Lumbersons play foster family for the day and adopt Baby Sweep into their home (and hearts). 

  Woody B. Lumberson makes a scene when he drops his jumbo sized ice-cream that he bought with all of his pocket money. 

Woody B. Lumberson makes a scene when he drops his jumbo sized ice-cream that he bought with all of his pocket money. 

  Mr. Lumberson recklessly loses his other arm when he’s overcome with an irresistible craving for cheddar cheese.

Mr. Lumberson recklessly loses his other arm when he’s overcome with an irresistible craving for cheddar cheese.

  A practical joke goes horribly wrong when Mrs. Lumberson traps herself in a gumball machine to scare her husband… but forgets that he no longer has any arms to rescue her.

A practical joke goes horribly wrong when Mrs. Lumberson traps herself in a gumball machine to scare her husband… but forgets that he no longer has any arms to rescue her.

  Woody B. Lumberson immediately regretted accepting his amputee-father’s kind offer to help him move out of home.

Woody B. Lumberson immediately regretted accepting his amputee-father’s kind offer to help him move out of home.

  Upon discovering that his parents are no longer able to afford their romantic getaway to Hawaii, Woody B. Lumberson cheers them up by demonstrating his fire twirling techniques in a private Luau mock-up.

Upon discovering that his parents are no longer able to afford their romantic getaway to Hawaii, Woody B. Lumberson cheers them up by demonstrating his fire twirling techniques in a private Luau mock-up.

  Inspired by the film “Say Anything”, Woody B. Lumberon pulls out his best John Cusack impersonation to win back the love of   Monique,   the sassy     plastic mannequin.

Inspired by the film “Say Anything”, Woody B. Lumberon pulls out his best John Cusack impersonation to win back the love of Monique, the sassy plastic mannequin.

  When it’s Woody B’s turn to choose a family activity, he decides to take his parents cloud gazing.

When it’s Woody B’s turn to choose a family activity, he decides to take his parents cloud gazing.

 Mrs. Lumberson begins to relapse back into old habits.

Mrs. Lumberson begins to relapse back into old habits.

 Mrs. Lumberson regrets threatening her husband after discovering that the only reason he was late, was so he could surprise her with her favourite flowers.

Mrs. Lumberson regrets threatening her husband after discovering that the only reason he was late, was so he could surprise her with her favourite flowers.

 Although he still hadn't been accepted into aviation school, Woody B. Lumberson still enjoys his first solo flight simulation.

Although he still hadn't been accepted into aviation school, Woody B. Lumberson still enjoys his first solo flight simulation.

 With more arms, comes more responsibilities. It's now up to Woody B. Lumberson to fulfil his father's duty of chopping down a Christmas Tree.

With more arms, comes more responsibilities. It's now up to Woody B. Lumberson to fulfil his father's duty of chopping down a Christmas Tree.

 Woody B. Lumberson brainstorms his first energy efficient idea, which with a bit of luck, could potentially stop the deforestation of his family tree.

Woody B. Lumberson brainstorms his first energy efficient idea, which with a bit of luck, could potentially stop the deforestation of his family tree.